Trust Me
by Serena Gemini
Summary: James and Lily one shot. James is desperate to have Lily understand what she really means to him. Will he get through to her this time? And what's been holding her back from her own feelings?


I know, I know, I haven't written much of anything for quite a while. I'm sorry! I'm definitely going to be starting up again with the story writing, and I figured why not kick it all off with a happy little one-shot? Read and review…plzkthx.

Disclaimer: Not JKR.

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"James, I think you'd better get over to the Three Broomsticks." Remus hissed into James Potter's ear inside Zonko's Joke Shop.

"Why," replied James, looking slightly concerned, "Is Sirius in there making a fool of himself again?"

"No, it's Lily. She's pretty torn up." Remus said.

"Then what's that got to do with me? She made it clear last night that she never wants anything to do with me." James spat out.

"That's rubbish and you know it. She's in there alone, crying. Alice told me that it was over you." Remus retaliated.

"And how would bloody Alice know?"

"Because she is Lily's best friend you git! And she told me that Lily sat up all night crying over what she said to you. Don't you get it Prongs, she didn't mean those things. Something else was behind those words, not hate." Remus was desperate to make James understand.

"Whatever. I'll go look in on her, satisfied?" James turned toward the door.

"Not yet…" Remus muttered under his breath.

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James opened the door of the Three Broomsticks, and peered around the room. He saw nothing out of the ordinary; the room was packed with Hogwarts students in addition to the usual customers. Upon further inspection, he happened to see Lily Evans, sitting alone in a far corner of the room, clutching a glass and doing her best to keep from breaking into tears.

James bit his lip and made his way through the crowd toward her. Even as he saw her dazzling emerald eyes swimming with unshed tears, he could feel his heart break for her.

"Lily…" Was all he managed to say once he got to her.

"Ja—Potter, what are you doing here?" Lily spluttered, trying to hide her eyes.

"Well, Remus asked me to come see if you were alright. So…here I am." James replied, trying his hardest not to think about, even when upset, how cute she could be.

"I'm fine, okay? Just leave me alone—please." Lily said defensively.

"Lily, you don't look like you're fine." James said in earnest.

"Well I am! Look, I've already said everything I had to say to you last night. I said I never wanted anything to do with you and I meant it, do you hear me?" Lily said, choking back a sob.

James' temper flared within him, "Well Lily, I didn't get a chance to say everything that was on my mind last night. You pretty much dominated the conversation, so now you are going to sit and listen to me," he leaned down toward Lily, so only she could hear him, "Who the bloody hell do you think you are to assume that the sole reason I've been pursuing you is to add you to my 'trophy list' as you dubbed it? Why can't it be simply because I fancy you? Why can't it be that I find you to be one of, if not the most beautiful person on this planet—inside and out? How is it that I've been head over heels for you since bloody second year and you're the only one who hasn't seemed to notice? Don't you get it? I _changed_ for you, Lily! You and only you made me realize how much of a stupid prat I was and made me actually _want_ to be different!"

Lily stared up into James' hazel eyes, feeling his own heartbreak wash over her. Although she knew he didn't understand at all, he had a right to be upset. She hadn't given him the real reasoning as to why she never wanted anything to do with him; she had made herself out to be the proverbial ice queen. With tears streaming down her smooth cheeks, she stood up and walked away from James, believing that her decision was the only way to prevent any more heartache for either teen.

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"So what happened?" Remus asked that night at dinner.

"I told her what was on my mind." James muttered, feeling, if possible, even more miserable than before.

"How'd she react?" Sirius chimed in.

"She started crying. After I finished, she ran out. I hurt her—again." James felt like drowning himself in his bowl of soup.

"I don't think so James. More than anything, I think she's hurt herself." Remus replied sagely.

"Who're you all of a sudden—some sort of Seer?" Sirius scoffed.

"I have my ways of knowing," Remus was being evasive, "Just try talking to her again. Look, she's leaving the table. Go say what needs to be said."

James shook his head and stood up, "I bloody well hope you're right Mooney."

James crossed the span of the Great Hall by the time Lily had made it to the staircase. He took off at a jog in order to catch up with her.

"Lily! Lily, please stop." James called after her.

Against her better judgment, Lily came to a halt halfway up the first flight of steps, "What do you want Potter?"

"I want to know why you're doing this." James said, catching up and turning Lily to face him.

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything different than what I always do." Lily couldn't let herself look James in the face.

"That's not what I mean and you know it. Why are you pushing me away harder than you ever have before?" James was desperate to know what she was thinking.

"Maybe it's because I am finally sick of you hanging around me like some lovesick puppy! Maybe I would like to be able to go on a date with someone without you hexing them the next day! For crying out loud, James, you're Head Boy!" Lily cried, her voice shaking.

"That would have made more sense this time last year Lily, but surely not now! I haven't hexed anyone you've dated all term, and you know it. And no wonder we're together all the time—we're the Heads! I'm tired of you're excuses Lily. If you really never want to date me, befriend me, or whatever, I think I could deal with that, but only if I had a straight answer." James touched Lily's cheek and made her look him in the eye.

"Fine, James. I—I'm afraid, okay? I am afraid to let you get close to me. Deep in the pit of my stomach I am afraid that you don't like me as much as you have always said. I'm afraid that you'll use me, despite all of your claims otherwise. I don't know how to trust anyone, let alone you. I don't want my fear to hurt you. Hurting you hurts me." Lily whispered, her bottom lip quivering.

James' mind was numb. Was she admitting that she had feelings for him? Was there an actual possibility that Lily might just be too distrustful to allow him into her life?

"James, I never hated you, and it kills me that you think I do. But I can't…The things that have happened to me…I'm sorry." Lily added, a tear falling down her cheek.

With that, she continued up the stairs, leaving James in a stunned silence.

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The next day, Lily wasn't in any of her classes. None of her friends had seen her, and she hadn't gone to the Hospital Wing. James was worried sick.

"Padfoot, let me see the map." James hissed in the middle of Transfiguration.

"And chance McGonagall seeing? Prongs, are you whacked?" Sirius shot back.

"No. No one has seen Lily at all today. I need to find her." James glanced up to see that the stern professor was still speaking.

"Prongs—"

"Padfoot, give it to me."

Sirius gave a sigh, and as discreetly as he could, passed the Marauders Map over to his best friend.

"Professor may I be excused?" James piped up the moment she had stopped talking.

"I suppose so Potter." McGonagall said curtly.

James practically leapt out of his seat and hurried toward the nearest empty corridor that he could find.

"_I solemnly swear I am up to no good._" He hissed, tapping the parchment with his wand and watching the map come to life before his eyes.

Scanning it as quickly as he could, he soon found a small black dot labeled 'Lily Evans' at the edge of the forest. It looked like she was not currently moving, so James hurried toward her.

He was glad that some of the students were not in class, as it made it easier to get outside. He scanned the edge of the woods until he saw a head of dark red hair sitting under an old oak tree.

He hesitated for a moment, feeling that maybe he was being too persistent. After all, he knew that she was safe. He shook the thought from his head, knowing that he had to make her understand that she could trust him.

Lily saw James approaching before he could utter a single word, "James, please just leave me alone."

"Lily, you need to understand something," he fell to his knees before her and looked her in the eye, "You _can_ trust me, I swear it. I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I only want you to be happy, and if that means a life without me in it, then so be it. But there is absolutely nothing that you can do or say that can keep me from…from loving you." James gave Lily a small smile and made to stand up, but Lily stopped him.

"Wait—" she reached out and grabbed him by the hand.

James felt a wave of heat rush through his body with her mere touch. He looked down at Lily with a somewhat dazed expression on his face.

"Do you think I could ever learn to really trust anyone?" Lily sounded very unsure of herself.

"You already are love." James replied in a low rumble.

Lily gave a weak smile in response as James helped her up off the ground. He took her by the hand and led her back up toward the school.

"So…Will you go out with me?" James couldn't help but ask as they approached the entrance.

Lily laughed despite herself, "You never give up James Potter, do you?"

"Not a chance." James grinned and came to a stop just beyond the doors.

Lily returned the grin, "Well, maybe it's time to give you a chance."

James couldn't believe his ears, "Really? You're saying yes?"

"Yes, I am saying yes." Lily replied, laughing at the look of sheer disbelief on his face.

James let out a whoop of joy, and picked Lily up off the ground, twirling her around in his arms. Once he set her down, he didn't let go of her.

"You don't know how happy you've just made me." He was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I could think of something that might top it…" Lily responded coyly.

Assuming his silence meant that he had no clue what could make that moment any better, Lily looped her arms around James' neck and leaned up to kiss him; something they'd both waited for for a long time.

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So…What'd you think? I don't know about the actual _quality_ of the story, but I had a nice time writing it and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. And now it is time, as in all stories, good or bad, for you to do your civic duty as a reader…Ah, you know what I mean…Yes, that lovely little button at the bottom of the page is for you to click. Review please! Constructive criticism is asked for—how else am I supposed to improve? No flames please, they're kind of pointless. Love to you all! –**SG**


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